Unpopular & Unpleasant Writing Advice (You Should Still Probably Take)
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So much advice out there, ya’ll…
There are a lot of people on the Internet giving a lot of writing advice. (And yes, I’m one of them.) Some advice is great, some is garbage, and then there are the unpleasant pearls in this list: really good advice you wish you didn’t have to take.
For many years I resisted most of this advice. In fact, this reads as a list I wish I’d followed in my early twenties when I first started trying to write novels. It wasn’t like I hadn’t heard this advice; it was that I thought it didn’t apply to me.
But guess what: it does.
And it just might apply to you, too.
#1 You may have to write a practice novel (or several) before you get it right (and write something publishable).
For those of you who are working on your first novel, this is probably disheartening. It may not be true for you, but I think it is for a lot of people, myself included. Writing a novel is really hard, and like with anything, you get better with practice.
Our dearly-departed Query Shark, Agent Janet Reid, said you shouldn’t query your first novel at all. “Write a second novel before you query on the first one,” she suggests.
I wrote four complete novels that will probably never see the light of day. It wasn’t until my fifth attempt that I wrote something good enough to land me an agent, and even with that novel I thought, you know what, I can do better. It wasn’t until I wrote my seventh novel that I felt like I had actually written something good.
You may not have to write as many practice novels as me (maybe those first novels would have gotten good with revision, but I also didn’t know how to revise back then). Just keep in mind that there’s a learning curve, and it takes time to figure out what you’re doing.
#2 Make a deadline and stick to it.
Setting a deadline to finish writing your book can be scary – you might worry you’re setting yourself up for failure. But giving yourself a strict deadline and announcing it is often the push you need to succeed in finishing a writing project.
Choose your deadline wisely (enough time to succeed but not so much time that it doesn’t light a fire). You may also want to give yourself multiple deadlines. For example: a complete outline by the end of the month, the first 20,000 words by the end of next month, etc.
Then, and this is the important part, hold yourself accountable to your goal by telling your writing friends, posting your progress on social media, or pairing up with an accountability buddy.
I give tons of suggestions of how to hold yourself accountable in my talk Finish Your Novel, and in my course, Finish Your Novel! Workshop Part 2.
#3 You can’t always wait for the muse to strike.
When I was in my early twenties I used to think I could just sit down at my computer and have a novel flow out of me, fully formed and brilliant. Sometimes I did get lucky and the muse visited. When she did, I might write a poem, a short story, or even the first fifty pages of a novel. But the muse never stuck by my side to see a novel to completion.
Muses spark ideas, but they’re not going to put in the hard work to see those ideas to fruition. That’s up to us.
What I’m saying is, if you only write when you feel like it, you’ll probably never finish a novel. Some writing sessions feel amazing, and some feel like WORK. Writing a novel is really hard; sometimes you have to push through the frustration, doubt, and confusion and keep going, even when it isn’t fun or easy or inspirational.
My suggestion: get yourself into a regular writing routine (It doesn’t have to be every day, but working on your novel at least four or five times a week (for twenty minutes, for two hours, whatever you’ve got) is what it takes for most of us.
#4 Resist the urge to go back to the beginning.
There are so many ways we writers justify going back and reading or revising beginning chapters: I need to make changes, I need to “get back into” the novel, I’m stuck in the middle and think going back to the beginning might spark an idea, etc. But usually we’re just making excuses because it’s easier to tinker with what you’ve already written than to write new words.
If you’ve been away from the manuscript for months or you need to make MAJOR revisions to the beginning that will totally change everything that follows, then fine, go back. But more often than not, reworking what you’ve already written is a stalling tactic. And remember, in the revision, you may end up cutting sentences, paragraphs, and entire chapters. All that time you spent line-editing those pages will have been wasted.
So don’t start a writing session by looking at your draft from the beginning. Instead, every time you work on your novel, read the last few pages to get back into it, then keep going – write new stuff!!
If you realize there are things you need to change in the beginning, make note of them, but don’t go back. Wait until you’ve finished your draft.
I like this piece of writing advice from Hemingway: “always to stop when you are going good and when you know what will happen next.” Often at the end of a writing session I jot down a note to myself about what scene to write next or even just a snippet of dialogue I want to use next time. I find this helps me push forward and resist the temptation to go back.
#5 Rethink your memoir or autobiographical novel.
There are two types of people who find publishing success with memoirs: #1 celebrities, and #2 people who have super unique/fascinating/horrifying life stories and can tell their stories well.
I’m not saying your life isn’t interesting. Everyone has interesting life stories. But are your life stories unique enough to justify writing a publishable memoir? And can you write about them in a way that is interesting to a wider audience beyond your own family and friends?
Perhaps consider writing a novel inspired by an interesting event in your life. That way, you have the liberty to shape the book into a satisfying and fascinating story without having to stick to what actually happened. You can add tension and get rid of anything that doesn’t serve the story. As you write, let go of what actually happened. Use your real-life story as a jumping off point to craft an engrossing novel.
If you’d rather stick to the actual events and write a memoir, take a memoir-writing class and read some books on how to write memoir. Creative nonfiction is incredibly tricky. You need to bring your memories to life in fully-formed scenes without crossing the hard-to-define line into fiction.
For more tips, see my post The Do’s and Don’ts of Writing Autobiographical Fiction.
#6 Read more.
If you want to be a writer:
#1 Read more in general.
#2 Read books in the genre you want to publish, especially books published recently.
#3 Read like a writer and notice how the author crafts the story.
Basically: stop scrolling; read instead.
It makes me sad to say this, but my attention span for reading has gone down the toilet in the past two decades, and I don’t read as much as I used to. Now, when I read in the evenings, I have to go in a different room from my phone so I’m not tempted to scroll on social media instead.
#7 Don’t query agents right away.
I wrote about this long ago in The Number One Mistake Writers Make When Querying Agents. The short version is this: you only get one chance to query an agent with your book, so make sure your manuscript is THE VERY BEST it can be before you query.
When you finish a draft, let it rest for a while (I suggest two or three months) before going back to it with fresh eyes. Get feedback from critique partners. Revise then revise again. Consider a developmental editor or really good beta reader who can give you big picture feedback. Often we are just too close to the story to see it objectively.
The revision process might take longer than the drafting process. You may need to make several major revisions. When the manuscript is as good as it can get, spend plenty of time drafting your query letter. Research agents. Get feedback on your query letter, either from writing friends or professionals. Read my advice: How to Write a Stand-Out Query.
I know you might be excited to get your book out into the world. I know you might be eager to publish and prove to everyone that you’re a “real” writer. But publishing moves slowly anyway, and trust me: you don’t want to rush the querying step. Agents get so many submissions; don’t give them a reason to say no to yours.
#8 When it comes to publishing, accept what is out of your control.
Publishing is a long road for most of us. I know you don’t want to hear any of this, but:
This book you’re working on right now may never get traditionally published.
Just because you get an agent doesn’t mean your book will get published.
It may take much longer than you’d like for your book to get published.
You may not make the money you’d like or get the recognition you’d like from your published book(s).
Whether or not your book gets published is not in your control unless you self-publish. (You can do things to make it more likely, but ultimately, whether or not you’re offered a book deal is out of your hands.)
I know. It sucks and I wish it weren’t so. This is why in 2025 I will be launching my podcast The Long Road to Publishing in which I will interview authors who have had a loooong and bumpy path to publishing. Will this be depressing? I hope not. The point of the podcast will be to help you see that you’re not alone, and that it’s a long and detour-filled road for most of us.
And that the people who succeed are the ones who don’t give up.
Also, here are things that are in your control: writing and revising the best book you possibly can, getting feedback on your work, taking writing classes, seeking out supportive writer friends, going to conferences, querying agents, and writing something new.
Have I bummed you out yet? I hope not! What advice in this list do you agree with? What advice in this list do you resist following?
Writing News & Resources:
For All Writers:
Must read: The Key Publishing Paths 2025-2026 from publishing guru
- . All are paying, no-fee opportunities!
Latest Weekly Round-Up of Writing Jobs from
.If you live in the DC area, register for my 3-week workshop, Fabulous First Pages at The Writer’s Center in Bethesda, starting Feb. 1, 2025. Learn what makes a great start to a novel and get your first pages critiqued by your peers!
Ever wonder why it takes so long to publish a book?
has the answer.A freebie for authors who are launching their books in 2025 and want to utilize podcast interviews as part of their book marketing from
.The Writers Center website is a GREAT resource for finding grants, fellowships, residencies & retreats, publishers (who publish non-agented authors), and literary journal opportunities.
Writing Workshops offers lots of online classes in fiction, nonfiction, poetry, picture books, and the business of writing.
Check out the meet-up group called Shut Up & Write. There are in-person chapters all over the country, as well online events.
Looking for places to submit your writing? Check out NewPages and Sub Club.
For KidLit Writers:
A list of places that publish stories for children from The Write Life.
Literary Rambles has information on kidlit agents and agent interviews. Plus contests and giveaways.
Here’s an incredible list of upcoming events for KidLit writers!
Check out SCBWI (The Society for Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators) for events, conferences, critique partners and more. (Picture book through YA.)
For Querying Writers:
Get ready for #SmallPitch, January 27-28, 2025, an event where authors can pitch their work to small/indie publishers. Pitches will be submitted through a Google form, so you don’t even have to go on social media to participate. Woohoo!
Manuscript Academy is holding their fifth annual online Submission Strategy Workshop Jan. 28-30. I attended their very first one and found it incredibly helpful. I can only imagine it’s gotten better since then.
You’re using Manuscript Wishlist to research agents, right? Also, the first official Bluesky #MSWL Day is February 12, 2025. Agents + editors can post what they wish they had in their inboxes; writers can find their next best fit for querying.
An intriguing query technique from
.Free online event from
on how to prepare you manuscript for querying.Updated since the other link no longer worked: a list of small publishers that do not require agents.
Andrea Bartz has a list of successful query letters (including mine!).
I occasionally choose a subscriber for a FREE submission package critique. Send me your query and first two pages, and, if I chose your submission, I will send you feedback on both. Fill out the form here.
Writing Conferences & Events:
The Shit No One Tells You About Writing’s Deep Dive Virtual Conference will be held February 1-2. I also highly recommend listening to their podcast of the same name!
The San Miguel Writers’ Conference and Literary Festival is happening February 12-16 in beautiful/historic San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. I’ve spent a lot of time in San Miguel, and it’s a great place to visit, especially in the winter season.
Recently two separate people recommended this online writing conference to me: Women in Publishing Summit, happening March 5-8, 2025.
The enormous AWP conference (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) will be held in Los Angeles this year, March 26-29.
If you live in the DC area, this comprehensive Calendar of Local Literary Events, compiled by Washington Independent Review of Books is overwhelming and awesome.
Live in the mid-Atlantic region and looking for a writing retreat get-away? The Writer’s Retreat at Good Contrivance Farm north of Baltimore is open year-round. The only requirement for this peaceful retreat is that you use the time to work on your writing. Spaces normally book about two months in advance.
Thinking about going to a conference or applying for a residency? Check out the free searchable database on Poets & Writers.
The Annapolis Book Festival will be held on Saturday, May 3, 2025.
The Writing Day Workshop “How to Get Published” Conferences are affordable and helpful. Plus, sign up for pitch sessions with agents for $29 a piece. For online conferences, attend from anywhere in the world! Check out the upcoming conferences:
Writers Digest offers loads of virtual conferences on a variety of publishing and writing craft topics.
For more writing conferences, check out this list or the free searchable database on Poets & Writers.
Great advice. I think it's important to remember that none of these experiences means that you've "failed." It's all just part of the process and a chance to keep growing as a writer.
I think all of it is pretty good advice. Although, #6.3 has kind of harmed my love of reading. I tend to see technical issues in the writing now.
#1 also applies to self-publishing authors. Indie publishing wasn't really easy when I wrote my very first novel... and I'm glad. It was not ready for publication, and I'm afraid I would've put it out there and cringed later. The first book I self-published was actually the twenty-first novel I wrote.