(Not So) Fabulous First Page

Learn from my mistakes!

(If you’re looking for my recent free post full of writing resources, go here.)

Normally on the Fabulous First Page, I showcase a first page from a published novel and break down how and why it works.

But today I’m mixing things up. I am sharing the first page from a manuscript I wrote over ten years ago that was never published. (In fact, it was so bad I never even queried agents with it.)

I did a lot of things poorly in this first page, but back then I couldn’t see that. My missteps were pointed out to me by YA author Stephanie Kuehnert, my instructor at the workshop class I was taking at The Hugo House at the time. And yet, it took years for her advice to truly sink in.

Now, I can look at this page and see clearly why it is not fabulous. I can see what needs to be done to make it better.

It’s taken me a long time and a lot of drawer novels to learn how to write a decent book (the first page and all the subsequent pages). And I’m still learning every day. I hope you can learn from my mistakes.

But before we laugh and point fingers at my old manuscript, here’s a reminder of all the things a first page should try to do:

A first page should:

• Hook the reader right away and invite them into the story.

• Set the scene and the overall tone of the novel.

• Introduce a main character (and/or introduce a main setting or theme).

• Hint at a conflict, situation, mystery/secret, or question.

• Set reader expectations.

And now, here is the first page of my unpublished YA contemporary manuscript: