Write Better Sentences!
Plus a Grinchy anti-gift-guide and TONS of writing links and resources
*For writing news and resources, scroll down.*
Word order matters!
Sometimes I read a sentence, and I know it’s not wrong grammatically, and yet, something’s not quite right. At the very least, I feel the sentence could be better. It can be hard to put a finger on the problem, but often, I’ve found, the solution is to play with word order.
Years ago I attended a talk by Daniel David Wallace, and he suggested putting the most exciting or surprising part of a sentence last. Though this isn’t applicable for every sentence, when you’re staring down a could-be-better sentence, it’s definitely something to try.
Here’s an example from my own work-in-progress:
I originally wrote: It was incriminating that I had in my possession a presumed-dead girl’s laptop.
I changed it to: It was incriminating that I had in my possession the laptop of a girl who was presumed to be dead.
You see what I’m saying? In this sentence, the most exciting or surprising thing is not that my protagonist has a laptop, but that the laptop’s owner is presumed to be dead. Ending the sentence with the word “dead” instead of the word “laptop” makes the sentence stronger.
(Also, “presumed-dead girl’s laptop,” though not grammatically incorrect, doesn’t really flow. Another thing to try: read your sentences out loud and see where you get tripped up.)
A famous example:
Let’s look at one of the most famous sentences of all time, the last sentence in The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald:
What if he had written this: So we sit in our boats, rowing ceaselessly towards the past, forever beating against the current.
Yikes! Thank goodness he wrote this instead: So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
The most important thing in this sentence is not the metaphor of rowing a boat against the current of time, but the idea that we are all struggling, fruitlessly, to make our way back into the past. Ending the sentence with the word “past” instead of with the word “current” is much stronger.
Holiday order matters, too!
In case anyone forgot, it goes Halloween —> Thanksgiving —> Christmas. Technically, the twelve days of Christmas start on December 25 and go until the epiphany on January 6, but as long as you waited until after Thanksgiving to put up your Christmas decorations, I won’t get on your case. See my grouchy post below.
As you can see, I grow Grinchier each year, and the materialism culture has really been bumming me out lately. If you, like me, are feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of STUFF our culture tells us we need to buy in order to have a nice holiday, here are a few things I’m doing this year.
How I am Grinchily handling the holidays:
This year I made my children (ages 5 and 7) each fill up a bag of old toys to give away. They DID NOT LIKE THIS. There were tears. But I explained if they wanted new toys, they had to make room for them, and also that Christmas is not just about getting things, it’s also about giving to those in need and those we love. I suggested they give some of their old toddler-era toys to their new baby cousins, or to the Goodwill.
(See photo of my 7-year-old’s room below and you will understand why giving away toys was a necessity.)
I have not bought gift wrap in at least four years. I just save the most salvageable wrapping paper and ribbons and gift bags and reuse them the following year. I have literally dug wrapping paper out of the trash at my in-law’s house. I’m kind of a nut. But it saves trees and money.
I wrote an email to family members telling them to consider going light on gifts. I said we were not going crazy with presents (one small thing for each person, except for the children, because we’re not monsters), and they should consider doing the same.
Do I sound like my heart is a few sizes too small? It’s not that I don’t enjoy giving gifts to people to show that I care — I do. It’s just that as I grow older, I see all the problems with the Christmas-gift-buying culture. I see the stress it causes and the strain it puts on finances and the environment. Not to mention the “managing and organizing of stuff” task that seems to quite often fall to the mother. (Or does it just fall to me because my husband has ADD and his office looks similar to our daughter’s bedroom?)
Where I’m buying my gifts this year:
I’m trying something different this year. To atone for all the years I’ve ordered everyone’s gifts from Amazon, I am attempting to not buy any gifts from Amazon.
Instead, I’m planning to go to an independent bookstore and buy as many of my holiday gifts there as I can. The new Dogman hardcover for my 7-year-old, board books for my baby nephew, a novel for my father-in-law. I’m excited by the challenge of doing almost all my holiday shopping at a single location. And if I can’t find what I’m looking for in person, I’ll order from Bookshop.org, the online indie bookstore.
(P.S. I realize in writing this how privileged I sound: complaining about having too much stuff. But this is exactly why I want to teach my children to give our excess to those who need it.)
My note went viral!
Speaking of books, recently I had the note below go viral on Substack!
In case you were wondering…
My 7-almost-8-year-old daughter likes to read:
all the Dav Pilkey graphic novels: the Dogman books and the Cat Kid Comic Club books (Note: I do NOT understand the humor in these books, but my daughter sits there reading them and giggling hysterically. So he’s clearly onto something. Don’t think just because you don’t get the books your kid won’t.)
Judy Moody books
Babysitter’s Club Little Sister books and the Babysitter’s Club graphic novels
Magic Treehouse books
Greek and Egyptian mythology for kids (with lots of pictures!)
So that’s my one gift guide suggestion, I suppose. If you have an eight-year-old to buy for, you can’t go wrong with a Dav Pilkey graphic novel.
Writing News & Resources:
For All Writers:
Looking for a writing mentor? The Round Table Mentors have been announced, and applications are open. Apply by Dec. 15.
- is hosting a free critique partner/beta reader match-up!
Live in the DC area? The Inner Loop is offering FREE writing space for December and January. No strings attached!
If you live in the DC region, you can come to my one-day in person workshop on Dec. 7 at The Writers Center in Bethesda: Finish Your Novel.
Have you joined Blue Sky yet? Consider participating in the #BluePit Writer Hype Event on January 13. Unlike other similar event in which you have to have a finished manuscript, this one is open to writers at any stage: drafting, editing, querying, on submission, or published. The idea is to help writers start building an online audience, finding and supporting other writers, and connecting with publishing professionals. Helpful when you’re starting from scratch on a new social media platform!
The Manuscript Academy has gifts! Ignore all the Grinchy stuff I wrote above because the writer in your life would LOVE a gift certificate for an agent consultation or feedback on their pages!
The Writers Center website is a GREAT resource for finding grants, fellowships, residencies & retreats, publishers (who publish non-agented authors), and literary journal opportunities.
Writing Workshops also offers lots of online classes in fiction, nonfiction, poetry, picture books, and the business of writing.
Check out the meet-up group called Shut Up & Write. There are in-person chapters all over the country, as well online events.
Looking for places to submit your writing? Check out NewPages and Sub Club.
For KidLit Writers:
A list of places that publish stories for children from The Write Life.
Voyage YA’s Novel Excerpt Prize is now open (deadline Dec. 15).
Literary Rambles has information on kidlit agents and agent interviews.
Submit your children’s book to these publishers: no agent required!
Here’s an incredible list of upcoming events for KidLit writers!
Check out SCBWI (The Society for Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators) for events, conferences, critique partners and more. (Picture book through YA.)
For Querying Writers:
Check out
’s weekly agent update. Each week she profiles agents who have newly opened to queries.You’re using Manuscript Wishlist to research agents, right? Okay, good, just checking. (P.S. MSWL is on Blue Sky now!)
Reminder that query reviews are available through the Book Pipeline Workshop. Only $75 per review until end of year.
From Mary Kole & Good Story Company: Free online Writing an Irresistible Query Workshop on Dec. 12.
Here’s a list of small publishers, most of which do not require agents.
Andrea Bartz has a list of successful query letters (many of them thrillers).
I occasionally choose a subscriber for a FREE submission package critique. Send me your query and first two pages, and, if I chose your submission, I will send you feedback on both. Fill out the form here.
Writing Conferences & Events:
Recently two separate people recommended this online writing conference to me: Women in Publishing Summit, happening March 5-8, 2025.
The enormous AWP conference (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) will be held in Los Angeles this year, March 26-29.
If you live in the DC area, this comprehensive Calendar of Local Literary Events, compiled by Washington Independent Review of Books is overwhelming and awesome.
Live in the mid-Atlantic region and looking for a writing retreat get-away? The Writer’s Retreat at Good Contrivance Farm north of Baltimore is open year-round. The only requirement for this peaceful retreat is that you use the time to work on your writing. Spaces normally book about two months in advance.
Thinking about going to a conference or applying for a residency? Check out the free searchable database on Poets & Writers.
The Shit No One Tells You About Writing’s Deep Dive Virtual Conference will be held February 1-2. I also highly recommend listening to their podcast of the same name!
The San Miguel Writers’ Conference and Literary Festival is happening February 12-16 in beautiful/historic San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. I’ve spent a lot of time in San Miguel, and it’s a great place to visit, especially in the winter season.
Are you an author who's had a book published in the last two years? The Annapolis Book Festival is now accepting submissions for our 2025 Festival, which will be held on Saturday, May 3, 2025.
The Writing Day Workshop “How to Get Published” Conferences are affordable and helpful. Plus, sign up for pitch sessions with agents for $29 a piece. For online conferences, attend from anywhere in the world! Check out the upcoming conferences:
Writers Digest offers loads of virtual conferences on a variety of publishing and writing craft topics.
For more writing conferences, check out this list or the free searchable database on Poets & Writers.
I don't think your heart is too small. It is practical advice and my wife actually says the same thing about fewer gifts the better. I get bummed out cause it seems Thanksgiving gets passed over. I think it is a great holiday to remember what we are thankful for. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on sentence order too. Great advice there too.
I echo everything Ivo said. And eggnog is putrid 🤮🤣