Query Guru: When a Great Query Isn't Enough
Take a look at the manuscript itself (Adult Thriller)
First of all, if you’re interested in researching and querying literary agents, don’t miss my talk tomorrow, August 4, at 11am Eastern as part of the Find Your Readers Summit, an online conference Aug 4-7 all about finding your audience, no matter where you are in the writing/publishing process. You can find more info about the summit here or here.
Moving on, the following query and first page were submitted by a subscriber. If you would like a chance to receive feedback on your query letter and first pages, please fill out the following Query Guru form. (You do not have to be a paid subscriber to receive feedback!)
The Query is Great, but…
When I first read this query letter, I thought I couldn’t critique it because I had nothing critical to say. I went back to the author’s Query Guru form and was not at ALL surprised to see he’d already received TEN full requests. Clearly he didn’t need to change his query — it was working! In our current querying environment, if you’re getting manuscript requests, you’re doing something right.
But he still hasn’t gotten any offers of representation, and I’m sure, at fourteen months into the querying process, he’s getting frustrated. Now, this could be because of luck and timing. Sometimes it really is about querying the right agent at the right time with the right manuscript. If writers are getting requests, I often tell them to just keep going. It’s a numbers game.
But, the lack of offers could also have to do with the manuscript itself. Maybe it needs another revision. Maybe something in the first few chapters isn’t working.
So I took a look at the first page, and there I had some constructive criticism...
But first, let’s look at his great query.
Literally the only changes I made were:
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