Gasp! Is Your Protagonist Taking Too Many Deep Breaths?
Physical telling & facial gestures... Plus TONS of Writing Resources!
*For writing links and resources, scroll down*
The revision continues…
But Eva, you might be saying, I thought you were done with that big revision of your YA paranormal thriller. Yes, that is correct. I finished with my big revision, and my agent read it and liked it. But she had more notes. Things I’d changed that weren’t working. Things I’d changed that were working and could now be taken a step further. So now we’re doing, in her words, a medium-sized revision, which will be followed by a final polish.
I’m not complaining, mind you. My agent is smart and has been thinking very deeply about my novel. Under her guidance, my manuscript keeps getting better and better. But I will say this: the work is not done once you get an agent. Getting an agent means you’re entering the next phase of work. You may potentially do several rounds of revisions with your agent before going out on submission. And once your agent gets you a book deal, you’ll be on to the next phase of work: revisions with your editor.
Physical Telling and Gestures
One of the things my agent didn’t ask me to do during this round of revisions, but I took it upon myself to do anyway, was look at all of the instances of physical telling and body/facial gestures in my manuscript.
By physical telling I mean things like:
my heart pounded in my chest
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly
my stomach rose up my throat
It’s not bad to use physical telling (especially in a thriller where we want the reader to feel the fear and adrenaline), but with physical telling, a little goes a long way. You don’t want your main character’s bodily organs jump-jiving all over the page. (See Mary Kole’s excellent blog post on this topic.) Sometimes a bit of interiority (internal thoughts) is a better way to relate how your character is feeling than yet another mention of her heart, stomach, or breath.
By body/facial gestures, I mean things like
I nodded
her eyebrows shot up
he grinned
Again, it’s not bad to use gestures — in fact, I think it’s good to show us arched eyebrows instead of telling us, “she looked at me like I was crazy.” However, it’s easy to go overboard with these as well and have characters’ eyebrows rising up and furrowing down all over the manuscript.
Well, anyway, I went through my entire book and wrote down every single instance of physical telling and every single body/facial gesture. I soon realized that my protagonist was taking a lot of deep breaths, and all my characters were nodding and shaking their heads all over the place.
Once I saw this, I took out some of those unnecessary head bobs (or switched them out with other gestures), and I replaced some of the deep breaths (and some of the heart pounding) with internal thoughts and/or more unique physical sensations and gestures.
A time-consuming activity, yes, but I think it made the manuscript a lot better.
Souped-Up Suspense
My next course for paid-subscribers is starting THIS Friday:
Souped-Up Suspense: How to write a super-twisty mystery, thriller, or suspense novel.
If you’re writing/revising a mystery/thriller/horror/suspense, or if you’re looking to add more page-turning suspense to your manuscript, this do-it-on-your-own-time course is for you.
The lessons (in both written and audio format) are as follows:
Lesson 1: Shady Characters: How to use characterization and narration to increase suspense
Lesson 2: Twisty Plots: How to create plots that keep the pages turning and the readers guessing.
Lesson 3: Setting the Mood: How to use setting and description to up the suspense.
Lesson 4: Inside Your Main Character’s Mind & Body: How to use your character’s physical and mental reactions to increase suspense.
For those who might not have the time for the full course, I will be giving a 45-minute talk that summarizes the first two lessons of Souped-Up Suspense at the online plot summit: Escape the Plot Forest, happening October 22-25. My talk will be on Monday, October 24, and it’s free if you watch it live!
(Click here for more info on the plot summit.)
And P.S.: Paid subscribers also have lifetime access to my other online do-it-on-your-own-time writing courses: Cultivating a Regular Writing Routine and Getting Started on Your Novel.
Don’t miss out! First lesson of Souped-Up Suspense will be sent to paid subscribers on Friday!
Writing News & Resources
For All Writers:
Check out the FREE Webinar from The Good Story Company, Fleshing Out a Plot THIS Thursday (tomorrow), October 13 at 8pm CDT.
Poet & Writers is offering a online workshop for poets and writers of literary prose (fiction, nonfiction, creative nonfiction) called Mapping the Maze: Chart Your Path to Publication. There is a session at the end of October and another one at the beginning of November. Registration includes a one year subscription to Poets & Writers Magazine, and residents of the Detroit, Houston, and New Orleans metro areas are eligible for a discounted rate.
Here’s a really great thread of practical writing advice from author Allison Ashley.
November is National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo helps you track your progress, set milestones, connect with other writers, and participate in events to help you finish your novel (or get a good chunk of it written) — all for free.
If you’re planning to do NaNoWriMo, that means October might be “Preptober”— a time to prepare, brainstorm, outline, and otherwise get ready for next month’s novel-writing. Here are 15 Steps for Conquering NaNoWriMo, and my blog post on How to Write Better Novels with ONE Key Step.
Ready to take your prep to the next level? For the month of October, Editor Kristen Overman of The Good Story Company is offering special rates on her brainstorming sessions and outlining packages.
Apply for the Writing Workshops Dublin (happening Spring 2023). Spots in both fiction and nonfiction. Apply by October 15!
Looking for a writing mentor? The Authors of Tomorrow #CoachHunt is coming up on November 19. Writers pitch their story ideas on Twitter or Google Forms to a panel of coaches, who reach out to writers if they are interested in their story and want to mentor them.
All-writer-voted and open to all, Sixfold’s three-round manuscript voting is trigorous, thorough, fair, and transparent. To create each issue, hundreds of writers vote to select the best fiction and poetry manuscripts. $5 to enter and $1000 in prizes for the best story and poem. Enter by Oct. 24.
Globe Soup if offering a historical fiction short story challenge. Sign up by October 28 and get randomly assigned a period of history to use as the setting for a story.
Check out the NYC Midnight 250-word Microfiction Challenge. Based on a randomly assigned prompt, write a super short story in 24 hours. There are multiple rounds, and everyone gets feedback from the judges. You’ll be amazed what you can produce when the pressure’s on and you’ve paid to compete. The challenge starts November 18, and there’s early-bird pricing until TOMORROW (October 13).
International Literary Seminars is launching a unique and intensive series of workshops, lectures, and cultural offerings. Apply for this year’s program, held in Kenya (application deadline Oct. 15), and check out the website for contests, fellowships, and other offerings.
For KidLit Writers:
I just thought some of you might like (or need) to see this: Seven Authors on Making Their YA Debuts After Age 50
The Lantinx Kidlit Book Festival is all virtual and happening THIS Thursday and Friday (Oct. 13-14).
Mark your calendars for YALL Fest, the YA Book Festival happening in Charleston, SC November 11-12.
Give some thought to joining SCBWI (The Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators). Members have access to conferences, events, critique groups, mentoring programs, resources, podcasts, publicity opportunities, and more.
For Querying Writers:
If you have the bandwidth for it, check out this insanely comprehensive spreadsheet of successful queries. Learn the details and read the actual query letters for books that got agent representation.
Every Friday, Operation Awesome offers one free query critique through their #QueryFriday contest.
Read Nathan Bransford’s latest query critique then nominate your query letter and/or your first page for a critique on his blog!
The Savvy Authors Pitch Fest will be held October 26-28. Pitch in an online forum to agents and editors (for free)!
The Authors of Tomorrow will be offering Query Dojo on October 29. This program allows young authors to submit their query letters to mock agents for practice querying. Applications are currently open!
If you live in the DC area, attend my affordable, in-person workshop at The Writers Center in Bethesda, MD: How to Get a Lit Agent. In the first class we’ll talk about how to research agents and write a great query letter, and in the second class we’ll critique query letters. I’d love to have you: November 12 and November 19.
Submission is open from now until Nov. 4 for the Blue Pencil Agency Pitch Prize. I don’t know much about this, but might be worth looking into. Entry fee is £12.
The querying trenches are rough right now, and Twitter pitch parties can feel like shouting into the void with thousands of other screaming writers, but still, it’s a way to meet other writers and it certainly doesn’t hurt to try. (After all, I found my agent through a Twitter pitch party. I am now an official success story!) So mark your calendar for these upcoming Twitter pitch parties. And be sure to read my article 13 Things to Know About Twitter Pitch Events.
October 20: #PitDark — Twitter pitch for all unagented authors of horror, mystery, thriller, paranormal, and anything else with a “dark” vibe.
October 27: #PBPitch — Twitter pitch for all unagented picture book authors.
November 3: #MoodPitch — Twitter pitch for all genres… and you get to include a “mood board” that communicates the vibe/aesthetic of your book. This is the Twitter pitch contest that got me my agent!
Writing Conferences:
Mark your calendar for Daniel David Wallace’s online plot summit, Escape the Plot Forest, happening October 22-25. This is a virtual conference all about plotting, and Daniel’s conferences are some of the best I’ve ever attended. Plus, I’ll be giving a talk on Monday, Oct. 24 on Tips to Creating a Super-Twisty Mystery, Thriller, or Suspense Novel! All sessions are FREE to watch live.
The YALL Fest, the YA Book Festival is happening in Charleston, SC November 11-12.
This year the Writing Day Workshop “How to Get Published” Conferences will be held virtually. I attended one of these conferences in person a few years ago in Philadelphia, and I thought it was fantastic. I can’t vouch for the virtual version, but there are some benefits: recorded classes, no travel expenses, attend in your comfy pants. Plus, you can sign up for Zoom pitch sessions with agents for $29 a piece. Check out the upcoming conferences (and remember, anyone can attend from anywhere; just keep the time zone in mind).
Registration is now open for the enormous AWP Conference (Association of Writers and Writing Programs). It’s being held in March 2023 in Seattle, which is one of my favorite cities.
For more writing conferences, check out this list or this list of 19 Writing Conferences for Emerging and Established Writers.
Thanks for the great newsletter! I would be really interested in a future edition on interiority. I find it so challenging to write!
Thanks! And that's a great idea for a topic -- thanks for the suggestion.