Anyway, you can read about some of Substack’s more annoying policies elsewhere. But personally, I still think the pros greatly outweigh the cons. (For one, unlike other social media sites, you can download your subscriber list and take them with you elsewhere if need-be!) And Substack is still my favorite place to be on the Internet.

I have made friends on Substack. I have found podcast guests on Substack. (Heck, I started my podcast The Long Road to Publishing because people on Substack were so enthusiastic about it.) I have lots of good things to say about this platform. And I say many of them in this talk: Substack for Beginners: How to Find Readers and a Writing Community on Substack, which I gave for the first time ever at the recent online Find Your Readers Summit.

Please note: I am not a Substack expert. I don't work for them and if you are having tech issues or a specific problem, contact them directly. However, I am an avid user and fan of Substack. I have been on the platform for a few years, and I’ve learned what works for me, and what works for others. In fact, recently interviewed Amran Gowani, and he talks about befriending published authors on Substack and how that helped him in his querying journey. So, it’s not just me: Substack is a great place to find readers and a supportive writing community.

Anyway, I have lots of great tips and pieces of practical advice in the video. The outline of what I cover is below. Enjoy!

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Nope. It’s not that simple. You need to ask the right people, at the right stage in the p…

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Instead of doing a Query Guru post this month, I’m sending out this quick “course” on how to write a great query.

If you have a manuscript you’re hoping to get traditionally published, you’ll need an agent. People find their agents in various ways: mentoring programs, pitch contests, and pitching to agents at conferences, but the way most people do it is by sending out query letters.

Agents receive a lot of queries. They might sign one or two new authors a year, but they might receive a hundred queries a week. Yikes. The odds aren’t exactly in your favor. Which is why it’s important to write an excellent query letter that stands out from the crowd.

So how do you do that?

How to Write a Stand-Out Query Letter:

A query letter should be approximately one page, single-spaced, block formatting, in an easy-to-read font. Aim for 250 words and don’t go over 350 words.

Your query letter should include these five elements (in this general order):

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Looking for Part 1 of Finish Your Novel? It’s right here.

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In Line Edit Lessons #1, we looked at making line level improvements by being less wordy and more specific. Now, we’ll still look to make those improvements, but we’ll also make larger-scope revisions regarding tense, point-of-view, and sentence variation.

But first, a pre-test!

There is nothing grammatically wrong with these paragraphs. Still, they could use improvement. What changes would you make?

#1 “Let’s head upstairs, alright? The wedding is tomorrow and we need to get some rest,” Eric said pointedly. He took my hand as we headed in the direction of the elevators. I have to make sure we don’t go upstairs to the room. If he sees what’s up there, what’s lying in our hotel bed, I’m doomed. Suddenly, as we were approaching the elevator, I saw my mother. My heart started leaping. I’ve never been so glad in all my life to see her.

#2 Dana stood outside on the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette, her hair sticking to the back of her neck. Hot as hell out here, she thought. Sweat stains crept down her back. Across the street, she saw a car roll up and roll down its window. A man looked out. His eyes traveled up and down Dana’s body, noticing her flashing green eyes and pink-painted toenails, and she felt her stomach lurch. She was a cute girl, he thought, but smoking was a disgusting habit she’d need to be cured of. Dana heard her cell phone ringing in her back pocket. She flicked her cigarette into the street and turned away from the leering man in the car. She pulled her phone from her pocket. “Hey,” she answered. “Where are you?”

#3 Kyle tossed his backpack in the trunk and closed the trunk hood. Leah got in the passenger seat and slammed her door. Kyle got in the driver’s side and took off his baseball hat. Leah got out her phone and started texting someone. Kyle put his keys in the ignition and pulled away from the curb. He reached over and turned on some music. Leah looked down at her phone and didn’t say anything.

Each of these paragraphs is making a key mistake. Let’s take a look…

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What do I mean by line editing?

To me, line editing is not just catching typos and correcting grammatical errors, although it certainly includes that. It’s about improving and tightening your prose. It’s about killing your darlings, cutting unnecessary words, and rewriting first draft sentences with stronger, more precise language.

So, as much as I want to, I’m not going to school you on proper comma usage. There are plenty of places to go on the Internet for that. And this article from Diana Urban does a great job explaining unnecessary words to delete: 43 Words to You Should Cut From Your Writing Immediately.

For example, this sentence contains several unnecessary words:

I just really think that he’s wrong.

Let’s improve it:

I think he’s wrong.

Ah, much better.

But, like I said, line editing goes deeper. There are so many ways to trim your prose and make it more effective.

Let’s start with a pre-test.

The sentences below are not grammatical incorrect. But they could be improved. How would you revise them?

1. She crept slowly down the hall.

2. On the sand lay a dead, bloated, gelatinous, pale grayish-purple jellyfish.

3. He walked aimlessly through the store, picking up random items from the shelves then putting them back in the totally wrong places.

4. “I can’t wait until Friday!” she exclaimed jubilantly, flapping her hands with excitement.

5. “So, hey, look, I’m…uh.. I’m just really sorry,” he said apologetically.

6. “I didn’t, like, actually want to break up with you,” he said, staring down at his shoes.

7. Walking down the sidewalk with their hands in their pockets, no words were said as they headed towards home. 

8. Her cheeks were flushed with heat, and she was covered in sweat.

9. He extended out his hand and took the money from her hand.

10. I stepped into the room, which was cool from the air-conditioning, and walked over to the the table, which was covered in delicious food.

*Answers below*

Lesson 1: Adverbs and Adjectives

First, a famous quote from Ursula K. LeGuin:

“Adjectives and adverbs are good and rich and fattening. The main thing is not to overindulge.”

When line editing, you want to hunt down every adjective and adverb and make sure they’re pulling their weight. Too many qualifiers can clutter your prose, making it clunky or childish.

• A strong verb is always better than a weak verb paired with an adverb.

• A specific noun is always better than a less-precise noun paired with an adjective.

As for multiple adjectives in a row? Choose the very best and delete the rest.

#1

She crept slowly down the hall.

The verb “crept” already carries the notion of slowly, so we don’t need the adverb:

She crept slowly down the hall.

#2

On the sand lay a dead, bloated, gelatinous, pale, grayish-purple jellyfish.

These are great descriptors but, whoa, six in a row! Let’s see what we can delete. Jellyfish are gelatinous by nature, but that’s also a great word. If the jellyfish is on the sand, we might assume it’s dead, but maybe not. Do jellyfish get bloated when they die? Not sure. Pale grayish-purple… is there a more specific color we can use? Maybe compare it to something with that color? This one is tough, but here’s my answer:

On the sand lay a dead, bloated, gelatinous, pale grayish-purple jellyfish, its gelatinous body the color of a faded bruise.

Notice I still used gelatinous (it’s such a great word!), and in fact this sentence still has three adjectives (dead, gelatinous, and faded), but they are not squished together in a row.

#3

He walked aimlessly through the store, picking up random items from the shelves then putting them back in the totally wrong places.

Walked aimlessly... Is there a strong verb we could use instead? I’m okay with the qualifier of “random,” but do we need the word “totally?” Also, there are some who might think we need a comma before “then,” but we don’t. (I know, I said I wouldn’t teach about commas, sorry-not-sorry!)

He walked aimlessly meandered through the store, picking up random items from the shelves then putting them back in the totally wrong places.

Lesson 2: Dialogue

If you’ve taken my Dialogue Masterclass Sessions, you know I recommend the following:

• Use “said” and “asked” as speaker tags. Use all other speaker tags (screamed, cried, whispered) sparingly.

• Eliminate speaker tags when it’s clear who’s speaking and/or when an action can replace a speaker tag.

• Instead of using adverbs, let your character’s words, actions, and internal thoughts speak for themselves. Trust your readers to understand how the dialogue is being said.

• Dialogue is not real speech. Cut filler words like “uh” and “like.”

#4

“I can’t wait until Friday!” she exclaimed jubilantly, flapping her hands with excitement.

Oh boy. We have an exclamation point, so the speaker tag “exclaimed” is unnecessary. Exclaimed also carries the connotation of jubilance. And the character is flapping her hands “with excitement.” We get it! The character is excited. Why don’t we let the exclamation mark and the action do the work?

“I can’t wait until Friday!” She exclaimed jubilantly, flappinged her hands with excitement.

Or, even better, get rid of “with excitement” and replace it with a simile; make the action even more visual for the reader:

“I can’t wait until Friday!” She flapped her hands like a bird about to take flight

#5

“So, uh, hey, look, I’m…um… I’m just really sorry,” he said apologetically.

Yes, this is how people actually talk: with loads of filler words, with starts and stops. But it grows tedious to read. In fiction, dialogue is always cleaner and more precise than real speech. If you absolutely must use a filler word and/or ellipses to show a character’s hesitation, fine, but do so sparingly.

And, of course, let’s get rid of that adverb. He’s saying “I’m sorry,” so we don’t need “apologetically.”

“So, uh, hey, lLook, I’m…um… I’m just really sorry,” he said apologetically.

#6

“I didn’t, like, actually want to break up with you,” he said, staring down at his shoes.

Again, cut the filler words. And since there’s an action, get rid of the speaker tag. Notice when I do that the comma becomes a period and we change “staring” to “He stared.”

We’ll get to this in the next lesson, but there’s also an opportunity to be more specific. What type of shoes would this character wear? Sneakers? White Air Jordans? Red Converse high-tops?

“I didn’t, like, actually want to break up with you,.” he said, staring He stared down at his shoes red Converse sneakers.

Lesson 3: Use Fewer Words & Be More Specific

As you comb through your manuscript, look for:

• Unnecessary words to delete.

• Phrases or sentences you can rewrite with fewer words.

• Passive voice you can rewrite as active voice.

• Opportunities to be more specific (perhaps by using figurative language!).

• Cliches you can delete or replace with something more unique.

• Repeated words in the same sentence, paragraph, or page. Use a thesaurus if necessary, but don’t get too crazy with the synonyms.

#7

Walking down the sidewalk with their hands in their pockets, no words were said as they headed towards home. 

Get rid of that passive voice (“no words were said”) and that unnecessary word (“towards”). Then rewrite this sentence in a less awkward way:

Walking They walked down the sidewalk with their hands in their pockets, not speaking no words were said as they headed towards home.

#8

Her cheeks flushed with heat, and she was covered in sweat.

Clearly this woman is hot, so we don’t have to say “with heat,” and let’s be more specific about the sweat, shall we?

Her cheeks flushed with heat, and she was covered in as beads of sweat gathered between her breasts and rolled down the backs of her knees.

#9

He extended out his hand and took the money from her hand.

First of all, we’ve got a repeated word (“hand”). Second, this is a very complicated way to say he took money from her hand. Hey, let’s just say that:

He extended out his hand and took the money from her hand.

#10

I stepped into the room, which was cool from the air-conditioning, and walked over to the table, which was covered in delicious food.

Repeated word alert (“which”), and an opportunity to use fewer words. And let’s be more specific about that food. Are we talking pigs in a blanket or a lovely charcuterie board?

I stepped into the air-conditioned room, which was cool from the air-conditioning, and walked over to a table, which was covered in delicious food filled with appetizers: baked brie, skewers of shrimp, goat cheese tartlets, and giant bowl of plump blackberries.

What do you think of these lessons? Do you agree with my revisions or do you think you could make better improvements? Let me know in the comments!

*For Session 1, click here; for Session 2, go here.

In this last lesson we will study dialogue examples and learn how to improve our own dialogue.

Lesson 1: Dialogue that reveals character (and rela…

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*For Session 1, click here; For Session 3, go here.*

Lesson 1: Dialogue only SOUNDS like real speech

Dialogue in fiction is NOT like real speech.

But wait, you might say, don’t I want my dialogue to so…

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*For Session 2, go here. For Session 3, go here.*

Lesson 1: Grammar and Punctuation

To get everyone on the same page, let’s review some basic rules. (These rules are for U.S. English. Other countries and other languages may have different conventions.)

Rule 1:

Use a comma inside the quotation mark and before the speaker tag. (A speaker tag is, for example, “she said,” or “he yelled.”)

Incorrect: “I love you.” she said.

Correct: “I love you,” she said.

Rule 2:

Speaker tags are part of the sentence and do not need to be capitalized (unless you’re using a proper name).

Incorrect: “What are you doing?” He asked.

Correct: “What are you doing?” he asked.

Correct: “What are you doing?” Ryan asked.

Rule 3:

Use commas to insert a speaker tag into the middle of a sentence of dialogue.

Incorrect: “As you may know” he said “I just got out of jail.”

Correct: “As you may know,” he said, “I just got out of jail.”

Rule 4:

Start a new paragraph every time the speaker changes.

Incorrect:

“I thought you liked steak,” Ron said. “Not the way you make it.” Leslie poked at her ribeye with a fork. “Bloody and raw. Did you even cook this?” Ron jerked his head towards the frying pan on the stove. “You know I did.”

Correct: 

“I thought you liked steak,” Ron said.

“Not the way you cook it.” Leslie poked at her ribeye with a fork. “All bloody and raw. Did you even cook this?”

Ron jerked his head towards the frying pan on the stove. “You know I did.”

Rule 5:

Despite what you’ve read in other books, you really can’t laugh, snort, smile, breathe, or sneer your words. Thus, these types of actions cannot be speaker tags. They can be, however, an action that lets the reader know who is speaking. Simply put a period at the end of your dialogue and write the action as a separate sentence.

Incorrect: “That’s ridiculous,” she sneered.

Correct: “That’s ridiculous.” She sneered.

Rule 6:

When quoting within a line of dialogue, use a single set of quotation marks.

Incorrect: “My mom told me I was “way too young” to get my ears pierced,” Stacy said, rolling her eyes.

Correct: “My mom told me I was ‘way too young’ to get my ears pierced,” Stacy said, rolling her eyes.

P.S. In the example above, I might recommend cutting the speaker tag and just using the action: “My mom told me I was ‘way too young’ to get my ears pierced.” Stacy rolled her eyes. (I like to cut the speaker tag whenever possible.)

Special Note #1:

There are some authors, like Cormac McCarthy and Sally Rooney, who choose to defy convention by not using quotation marks around their lines of dialogue. For a less experienced writer, this would likely lead to problems with clarity, but Rooney and McCarthy are accomplished and award-winning writers, and it seems to work for them. See below the first page of Normal People by Sally Rooney.

In my opinion, this style works better for Rooney in her first person narrated novels because it gives the sense that all of the dialogue is being filtered through the lens of the narrator’s perceptions. I also thinks it works for her tonally. All of her novels, and the characters within them, have a sort of flat, affected tone (and I mean that in a good way — I absolutely love Rooney’s novels). Anyway, I have no idea if any of this was her intention. Maybe she just likes to be a rule-breaker.

My opinion: before you decide to emulate McCarthy or Rooney and discard the quotation marks, ask yourself why. If it’s just to be cool, better not. If you truly think it works for some particular reason, then… sure. Go for it. But make sure it’s always clear who is speaking and what is and is not spoken dialogue.

Special Note #2:

As I mentioned, the rules above are for U.S. English. Other countries may have other rules, and I’m not familiar enough to address those. At the end of the day, the most important thing is, again, clarity. That’s why these conventions are used: so that readers know when characters are speaking.

Lesson 2: Speaker Tags and Action

Don’t get too fancy with your speaker tags.

Best to stick to “said” and “asked.” Or, when it’s already clear who is speaking, leave off the speaker tag altogether. And, though it’s not wrong, I encourage you not to reverse the speaker tag:

DON’T: “I despise you,” said Bob

DO: “I despise you,” Bob said.

You can also use other speaker tags, but sparingly: yelled, screamed, wailed, cried, shouted, yelped, shrieked, whispered, hissed, mumbled, mutter, etc. Again… sparingly. You want to avoid sounding like you’re thumbing through the thesaurus for each of your speaker tags.

DON’T:

“What do you want?” she snapped.

“I think you know,” he snarled.

“Never!” she screamed. “I’m never giving you my son.”

“That’s the deal we made,” he hissed. “So pay up.”

“No!” she wailed. “I won’t do it!”

“You will do it, or I’ll make you,” he spat.

Avoid using adverbs with your speaker tags.

A few every now and then is okay, but you really want the dialogue to speak for itself. Better yet, you want the combination of dialogue, character action, and internal thought to speak for itself.

Cluttering your prose with lots of fancy speaker tags and adverbs is unnecessary if you’ve done a good job setting the scene and letting it play out through dialogue, action, and internal thought.

DON’T:

“I was told not to open the door for anyone,” she said suspiciously. “What do you want?”

“I’m just a poor old lady selling crunchy apples,” the woman said dejectedly. “But if you don’t want one…”

“Wait,” she said curiously. “Are they Honeycrisp?”

“Why? Is that your favorite?” the woman asked coyly.

Lesson 3: Clarity

As I mentioned above, at the end of the day it’s all about clarity. You really need very few speaker tags in a scene full of dialogue as long as it’s clear to the reader which character is speaking.

BAD EXAMPLE:

Here’s a bad example. See if you can figure out the problems, then see my explanations that follow.

“What I want more than anything else is a heart,” the Tin Man said.

Dorothy and the Scarecrow looked at each other then back at the Tin Man.

“A heart?”

Dorothy tried to imagine what it would be like to have no heart. “Yes, a heart,” the Tin Man said.

“You don’t have one?” The Tin Man shook his head.

Dorothy placed her hand against her chest. “I can understand. All I really want is a brain,” the Scarecrow said.

Why this is bad:

“What I want more than anything else is a heart,” the Tin Man said.

Dorothy and the Scarecrow looked at each other then back at the Tin Man.

“A heart?” [It’s unclear who is saying this, Dorothy or the Scarecrow.]

Dorothy tried to imagine what it would be like to have no heart. “Yes, a heart,” the Tin Man said. [Since this sentence began with Dorothy’s internal thought, the reader is expecting the dialogue that follows to be spoken by Dorothy. The dialogue should be in a new paragraph.]

“You don’t have one?” The Tin Man shook his head. [It’s unclear who is asking this question. Because an action from the Tin Man comes after the dialogue, the reader will expect the Tin Man to speak, though from context we know this is not him speaking.]

Dorothy placed her hand against her chest. “I can understand. All I really want is a brain,” the Scarecrow said. [Again, because the sentence begins with an action from Dorothy, the reader is expecting the dialogue that follows to be spoken by Dorothy. The dialogue should be in a new paragraph.]

GOOD EXAMPLE:

Read the following scene from my Pushcart Prize nominated short story, “Living Room” with my notes in bold.

That night, as Susan applied moisturizer to her face, she had an idea. She looked in her vanity mirror and saw Chip’s reflection in it. He lay propped up in bed behind her, wearing his glasses and working on a crossword puzzle.

“Hey, Honey?” she asked.

“Yeah?” [No speaker tag because it’s obvious Chip is speaking.]

“I was thinking about having a Christmas party this year.” She rubbed pink cream into the creases in her forehead, trying to smooth them away. [Action in place of a speaker tag.]

Chip looked up. “The Marshalls and the Donovans are already having parties.” [Action in place of a speaker tag.]

Susan didn’t mention that they were his friends, fellow professors, and that she never had any fun at their parties. “Maybe I’ll just have a little party for the girls at the shop.” [Internal thought in place of a speaker tag.]

Chip studied his puzzle. “That’s a nice idea.” [This action shows that Chip is distracted in his response. No need to use the adverb “distractedly.”]

“Although I guess we’ll have to call it a holiday party because Bethany’s Jewish.” [No speaker tag because it’s obvious Susan is speaking.]

“Is she one of the college girls?” Chip always pretended like he remembered Susan’s employees, but she knew he didn’t.

“No, she’s older,” Susan answered, twisting the black lid onto the night cream. “We could have a sit-down dinner and use the china.”

“For a party?”

“Isn’t that what it’s for?” [Sometimes you can let the dialogue speak for itself.]

Chip filled in a word on his crossword. After a moment he looked up. “When did you want to have it? I’m so busy the next few weeks.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Susan tossed her hand in his direction like she was flicking away an insect. “It’ll just be a girl thing.”

As you can see, you need very few speaker tags as long as action, internal thought, and context make it obvious who is speaking.

Lesson 4: Write Like a Playwright

When writing a scene of dialogue, it can be helpful to write like a playwright, using the following steps:

1. Set the scene. Let the reader get a visual of where these characters are.

2. Give characters their lines. (Aka, write the dialogue.)

3. Give characters their motivations and subtext. What are they each trying to accomplish in this scene? What thoughts and emotions are bubbling under the surface? These can come out through their actions and through your POV-character’s internal thoughts.

4. Give characters their “blocking” and “stage business.” Will they walk across the room as they say a particular line? Will they play with the ring on their finger or pour themselves a glass of wine? Will they flop onto the couch? (Their actions should reveal their emotions.) How will they move about in the space, and what lines of dialogue will trigger certain actions and movements?

Exercise: Write Like a Playwright

1. Write a short scene of dialogue between two characters. Write the DIALOGUE ONLY. Like you are writing a scene in a play.

2. Write a short paragraph at the beginning to set the scene so we know where these characters are. Also, decide point-of-view for this scene. Will this be a first-person POV from one of the characters or a close third-person POV from one of the characters (so we get the internal thoughts of only that character). You can also choose a third-person POV where we get the internal thoughts of both characters (or neither).

3. Now, go back and insert character motivation, blocking, and stage business. Add characters’ actions and internal thoughts. Show and describe what they are doing in this scene and how they are moving around the “set.” For example, if they are in a car, describe how one character flips on the turn signal or slams on the brakes. Describe the other character adjusting the air conditioning or looking out the window. Use these actions to accompany lines of dialogue. Chose actions and business that reveal the emotions being stoked by the conversation.

4. Reread and polish the scene. Add any necessary speaker tags for clarity.

In the 45-minute video below (taken during the Find Your Readers Summit over the summer), I summarize basically everything I know about how to research and query literary agents to find the RIGHT agent for you.

I discuss:

• why you need a literary agent

• the various avenues to finding an agent

• how to research agents

• how to write a great query letter

• querying strategies

• how to survive the query trenches without losing your confidence

Here’s what people who attended the conference had to say about my talk:

"This was insanely helpful! Hands down my favourite segment of this conference and probably one of the most informative entry point for querying I’ve come across."

"Very helpful and loved how Eva organized the presentation - learning points, her story, examples and moving forward. All great! Thank you so Much!"

“This was clear and crisp and informative. Absolutely first class!”

“Eva's talk was packed with useful information and advice. A very generous presentation.”

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Welcome back! Hope Lessons 1, 2, and 3 have been helpful. Here’s our last lesson. Let me know if you have questions!

Physical Telling

If you’re writing mystery, thriller, or suspense, it means things a…

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Welcome back! Hope you’ve enjoyed Lesson 1 and Lesson 2. Have you brainstormed about your protagonist, villain, and plot? Have you written a loose outline? Great! You’re ready for Lesson 3.

Setting

T…

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Oh, plotting. It’s hard enough as it is, and now you’re trying to write a mystery/thriller that keeps your reader guessing until the very last page. Here’s the thing: your first draft doesn't have to…

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Hello, welcome!

I hear you’re writing a mystery/thriller/suspense novel! I hope you find this course helpful in your journey. A note that I sometimes use examples from novels I’ve read. I will try no…

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Note: You can listen to this lesson or read it — the content is the same.

PLOT. I’m going to be honest: this is the thing I struggle with the most. And it’s SO important. If nothing happens in your no…

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Note: You can listen to this lesson or read it — the content is the same.

You’ve got characters. You’ve got a premise. Now… where is this story taking place? You may think you only need to worry abou…

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Note: You can listen to this lesson or read it — the content is the same.

What Comes First? Character or Premise?

Do you start your story with a great character or a great premise? It can work either way!

Character First:

Some writers start with a strong, compelling character. They hear the character’s voice in their head, they clearly picture the character and their world and their situation. They want to develop a story around this character.

If you are writing character-first, ask yourself:

• What does this character most desperately want and why?

• What is getting in the way of them achieving their goal?

• What steps are they going to take to get what they want?

That will start the wheels of the story turning.

Premise First:

Other writers (like me!) start with a compelling premise (often a “what if” scenario) then create characters to fit the premise.

If you are writing premise-first, ask yourself:

• What type of person would fit this story best?

• Who needs this adventure or lesson the most?

• Who would have the biggest emotional journey in this situation?

• Who would change the most through this experience?

• What type of character have we not seen before in this particular situation?

That will help you create characters to go with your idea.

Weakness, Need, & Desire

Every main character (MC) should have an interior weakness and need, as well as an exterior desire.

Weakness and Need (Interior): At the beginning of the story, your MC has some sort of weakness that is holding them back from living their best life. The character needs to confront this weakness and change in some way in order to live a better life or become a better person. The need can be psychological (affects/hurts the self), or moral (affects/hurts others), but either way the MC is probably not aware of their need. 

Desire (Exterior):  At the beginning of the story, your MC also has something they want -- a goal.  They are aware of this goal. (It may or may not be something they actually want or need, but it is what they THINK they want or need.)  It is what makes the MC act and what propels the story forward. 

Example 1: Fault Lines by Emily Itami (adult fiction, published 2022)

Mizuki has lost her sense of self after quitting her job as a lounge singer to become a stay-at-home mom. She is teetering on the edge of depression and is holding inside a mounting pile of resentment towards her oblivious, workaholic husband. These are her weaknesses.

She wants to have an affair with a rich, successful restaurant mogul (exterior desire), but what she really needs is to confront the problems in her marriage, restore her self-confidence, and find excitement and vibrance in her chosen life.

Example 2: Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (MG fiction, published 1977)

Jess is afraid of what other people think of him and afraid to show emotion. These are his weaknesses.

He combats these fears with the exterior desire to be named the fastest kid in the fifth grade. He thinks this distinction will gain him the respect of the other kids at school, and, hopefully, make his father proud. That is Jess’s deep-down need: love and acknowledgement from his father. Ironically, when Jess breaks down emotionally (when he confronts his own weakness) over the death of his friend, he gets the love and respect from his father that he’s needed all along.

*Note: These ideas of weakness, need, and desire has been adapted from John Truby’s The Anatomy of Story: 22 Steps to Becoming a Master Storyteller. A great book, and I highly recommend it!

You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, well, you might find…

Daniel David Wallace (who offers a free course on The Character First Story) summarizes the idea of weakness and need by saying: 

“A character is morally flawed in some way. At the start of the story, she desperately desires something and struggles to get it, facing increased set-backs.  But as she struggles, the evidence accumulates that what she really needs is something more important than getting the thing she desires. Her moral need is what is really at stake.” 

4 Ways a Story Might End

(This is also courtesy of Daniel David Wallace)

1. MC gets the thing she wants but fails to realize her need. 

2. MC realizes the need, changes as a person, and uses her newfound better nature to get the thing she wants. 

3. MC realizes the need, gives up the search for the thing she thought she wanted, and ends up happier for it. 

4. MC realizes the moral need, gives up the thing she wanted, and suffers for it. 

Specificity is key to character

Consider ways to make your characters less stereotypical and more specific.

Recently I wrote a scene in which two characters visit a psychic. I had a stereotypical image of a psychic in my mind: a middle-aged woman with a scarf on her head, wearing a flowing outfit and surrounded by candles and crystals. I did NOT want the psychic in my scene to be that stereotype. So I had readings with two psychics, and I watched several TV shows about psychics. The first psychic I saw was in her thirties, wore a t-shirt, and had a funky, asymmetrical haircut. I liked this image of a more modern, hipster psychic, so the psychic in my story has a sleeve of tattoos, wears a vintage Star Wars t-shirt, and has hair that looks like it was cut by Edward Scissorhands. The specificity is what (I hope) will make her more real to readers.

Think of specific details that will make your characters come alive to the readers, and try not to fall back on stereotypes. Remember that real people (and thus the characters you want to write) are complicated and quirky.

Assignment 1: Character Questions

Start to answer the following questions about your main character. You can also answer these questions for any of the other important characters — love interest, villain, best friend, etc. If you can’t answer all of the questions now, that’s perfectly okay. You can always come back to this list later after you’ve started writing scenes and gotten to know your characters better.

Note: I have provided these questions as a pdf below.

1. What is the character’s interior weakness and need? How will the character confront their weaknesses in the story?

2. What is the character’s exterior desire or goal? What actions or decisions will they make to get what they want?

3. What are the character’s strengths? How will these come into play in the story?

4. What are the character’s motivations? WHY do they want what they want?

5. Describe the character’s physical appearance and health. (Another idea: search magazines or online to find a photo of someone who looks the way you imagine your character to look. Save this image somewhere to refer to later.)

6. What are the character’s core values and beliefs? What is their overall attitude about life?

7. Describe the character’s status (socioeconomic, political, etc.) and abilities. Where do they fit in society (or in their school or in their social world)? What are they good at doing?

8. Describe the character’s behavior and way of speaking/acting.

9. What was the character’s childhood like? Does their past have something to do with their current desires and motivations?

10. What does the character like and dislike? What causes them to feel strong emotions?

11. What are the important relationships in your character’s life? How do they interact with these people?

12. How would the character describe themselves to others? How would others describe them?

Assignment 2: Character Monologues

Part 1: 

Your main character is going to change over the course of the novel. Write a stream-of-consciousness monologue, diary entry, email, or letter from the POV (point-of-view) of your protagonist at the beginning of the novel. Within this monologue you might explore your MC’s values, beliefs, and attitudes towards life. You might reveal the character’s weakness through what they say (even though they themselves are not aware of the weakness or aware that it’s a problem.) And/or you may want to write about an event that has happened in the MC’s past and how it is affecting them now.   

Part 2: 

NOW, write another monologue, email, diary entry, or letter from the POV of your protagonist at the END of the novel. How have they (and/or their circumstances) changed? How has their outlook on life changed? If you’d like, you can write about the climatic event of your novel and how the main character feels about it.

And, of course, you can write these monologues for other important characters in your novel as well!       

Assignment 3: Compare Your Characters

It might be helpful to compare your main characters. For example, how does the MC and the villain/love interest/best friend differ in their world views, their appearances, their motivations, etc.

Compare your characters across these parameters:

• weakness and need

• desire and motivation

• core values, beliefs, and overall attitude about life

• physical appearance, health

• power, status, abilities

• behavior, way of speaking/acting

• how each interacts with the central problem/theme of the story

Feeling fancy? You could even create a spreadsheet or chart with this information!

Assignment 4: Write a few pages

Write a few more pages of your novel, remembering that this is an exploratory draft and these pages might not make it into the final version. You can continue writing from where you left off in the last lesson, or write a new scene.

As you write, get to know your characters a little better. Let them talk to each other; pay attention to how they interact. Listen to your characters as they express themselves on the page. Learn about them by writing about them.

Final Thoughts

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t worry. You don’t have to know all the answers to these character questions now. Answer as much as you can, let these questions marinate, and move on. Writing scenes is one of the best ways to get to know your characters.

Questions or comments? I’m all ears!

Go here for Lesson 3 on Setting & World-Building (this lesson is for paid subscribers only.)

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